June 20th, we met with the surgeon, Dr. McLoughlin and found out that I do have cancer. I will have surgery on June 26th to have a mastectomy of my right breast. My lymph nodes will be checked to see if the cancer is in my lymph glands. A port will be surgically installed to make the chemo therapy easier. I will be spending the night at the hospital.

Today (6-23-17) was my pre-op appointment. An EKG was done and my medical history was screened. Now I am waiting for the phone call to tell me what time to report to the hospital. I have to be honest with myself… I am very scared. I am totally out of control. I’m being reassured by friends who have gone through this that it will be fine. I’m reassured by my dear close friends that God is in control, He is with me. I am living in a nightmare and feel like I’m holding on to my sanity by my fingernails. I’m on the edge of crying all the time. I don’t know what I will be like after the surgery.

Will I be maimed, gross and ugly?
Will it be too horrible to look at?
Will I get any help?
Will I lose all my hair?
Will I get sick a lot?
Will I get depressed?
Will I be in pain?
Will I stop crying?
Will I be able to go swimming?

Journey began March 6, 2017 when I went in for my regular annual wellness checkup. Dr. Robin scheduled me for a routine mammogram.

On March 17th, I went to Rollins-Brook Hospital for a mammogram, and on March 27th, I had another mammogram because there was an area that was unclear. Bobbie also did an ultrasound on the right side.

The area in question was still inconclusive so an MRI was scheduled for April 27th at Metroplex Hospital. That was real scary. They had to start an IV (so the contrast could be injected). The machine was very noisy and the contrast stuff felt funny when it was injected. Afterwards, I went to Walmart and while there, Dr. Robin called and said that the MRI revealed a suspicious area and she was referring me to a great surgeon, Dr. McLaughlin. However, that referral was denied and I was instead directed to Darnall Army Medical Center. The earliest time I could see the surgeon for the consultation was 3+ weeks.

On May 22nd, Frank went with me to DAMC and we saw Dr. Bruce, who explained in detail how breast cancer was rated. She rated me as a BI-RAD 5 (on a scale from 0 to 6) meaning I had over a 90% chance of having breast cancer. She also wanted to re-run the tests and since the Radiology was backlogged, was referring me back to Dr. McLaughlin at Metroplex.

I waited for over a week for the referrals to take effect and be called for an appointment with Dr. McL. With Frank being very busy at work, I, myself, called the scheduling office at Metroplex on May 31st. There, I was told there was no referral and I told her that could not be. She proceeded to be very very rude and harsh to me, with no kindness or compassion whatsoever. A few minutes later, I got a call from the scheduling office at the Family Medicine Clinic who told me that she had had the referral for Dr. McLaughlin for over a week and she was also very rude and mean to me, threatening to tear up the referral. After this very terrible experience, I called Dr. Robin’s office and asked her assistant to please ask Dr. Robin for help in getting my referral to Dr. McLaughlin. And on June 2nd, I saw Dr. McLaughlin.

Dr. McL talked to me and did a brief exam and said he would order a biopsy. I waited a week to receive the phone call for the biopsy. The surgeon’s office did not answer the phone and never returned calls or messages. Finally, on June 8th, Frank went to the surgeon’s office during the day and sat there until he had answers. Later that day, Dr. McL called me and said I would have the biopsy the next day (Friday). On Friday, June 9th, I didn’t get a phone call until about 10 am asking that I come in at noon for the biopsy.

The biopsy procedure was not as bad as I thought. The doctor (Vancuren) made sure I understood the procedure and then injected the lydocaine and the ultrasound guided needle biopsy was painless.

Now I am back to waiting. I have an appointment on Tuesday, June 20 to talk to Dr. McL where we will discuss what will be done to me.  I am exhausted from worrying about the unknown. Nobody has said for sure that I have breast cancer. I am encouraged by my friends who are supporting me with their love and prayers. I am blessed to have a loving husband who is taking the best care of me and taking time off of work to be my advocate. It would be honest for me to say that I am really scared. Yes, scared. But I want to live to be very old. I have confidence that God is with me every step of the way and will not leave me.  But deep down, I’m very scared.

I used to think that politics were all run by human beings. That people had all kinds of motivations that drove them to push legislation for or against just about anything under the sun. But in this past election cycle and current administration, I have learned that something much more powerful than the whims of man is at work.

Consider the obvious: Our nation’s acceptance of the false claim of “separation of church and state” has led to all kinds of “political correctness” against Christianity. We have torn down all public displays of the Ten Commandments, crosses, nativity scenes, Bible verses. We have condemned business owners for living their faith in Christ (bakers, wedding photographers, etc), actually running them out of business because they would not condone sinful behavior. We have forbidden our pastors from saying anything political because it might spread the salt of God’s Word on our society.

Now consider the daily news: Irrational attacks on our President (who is doing his best to uphold the tenets of Christian principles in our government). The unending accusations about Russian involvement, even though every intelligence source says there was no collusion, or even a direct investigation of the President; the completely unjustified judicial sanctions against the President’s immigration orders (which he is expressly authorized to issue in Title 8, USC); the riots and looting we all witnessed; the attacks on police; the completely irrational behavior of countless senators, representatives, media, and celebrities. My point here is that the behavior of the liberals is beyond human explanation – and here is the wake up call: we are witnessing a demonic possession the likes of which the world has not seen since the days of Noah. The spirit of the Antichrist is growing, and spreading rapidly throughout the world, and that includes the good old USA.

Ephesians 6: 11-12: “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” We need to recognize that our problems are not social; our problems are not political; our problems are not climates or policies or any other human construct. Our problems are spiritual, and we are asleep on the battlefield!