Posts Tagged ‘nightmare’


Friday, June 23rd, 2017

June 20th, we met with the surgeon, Dr. McLoughlin and found out that I do have cancer. I will have surgery on June 26th to have a mastectomy of my right breast. My lymph nodes will be checked to see if the cancer is in my lymph glands. A port will be surgically installed to make the chemo therapy easier. I will be spending the night at the hospital.

Today (6-23-17) was my pre-op appointment. An EKG was done and my medical history was screened. Now I am waiting for the phone call to tell me what time to report to the hospital. I have to be honest with myself… I am very scared. I am totally out of control. I’m being reassured by friends who have gone through this that it will be fine. I’m reassured by my dear close friends that God is in control, He is with me. I am living in a nightmare and feel like I’m holding on to my sanity by my fingernails. I’m on the edge of crying all the time. I don’t know what I will be like after the surgery.

Will I be maimed, gross and ugly?
Will it be too horrible to look at?
Will I get any help?
Will I lose all my hair?
Will I get sick a lot?
Will I get depressed?
Will I be in pain?
Will I stop crying?
Will I be able to go swimming?